My Dream Dog

            As a baby boomer, I grew up in a generation of family television shows.  I remember those horse shows with Fury and Flicker.  I remember later on the dolphin, Flipper.  There may have been other countless animal shows before and after.  I never saw myself owning a horse, a dolphin, monkey or others.  But I sure knew some day in my life I would own a dog.  The dog shows captivated my full attention.

I never could figure out how those dogs did all those great things.  As a child, I believed everything I watched.  I tried making every dog we ever owned into a Lassie.  I did get the hand shake, sit, roll over, and speak.  But I never got beyond that.  And even for those tricks the dog expected payment for them.  But I never wanted a Collie, German shepherd, or any other well-known breed from television or movie.  Except, maybe it was that one.  It was a St. Bernard.

My knowledge of the St. Bernard came from an old television series.  It came from a movie originally with the same name.  The name of the show was, “Topper.”

“Topper” focuses around a wealthy couple who die in an avalanche along with their St. Bernard, Neil.  Cosmo Topper finds his house is haunted by the couple, (the Kirby’s), and that of alcoholic St. Bernard, Neil.  The Kirby’s never did anything good in life.  But by haunting Cosmo Topper, they have a second chance at good.  For two seasons, it made for a good comedy.  The one stealing the show was the Kirby’s martini-loving St. Bernard, Neil.  And that was my first love for the St. Bernard.

I couldn’t think about getting my own dog until married.  Then I settled on another breed of dog.

“You don’t need a St. Bernard,” said my husband.  “He’ll eat us out of house and home!”

“Why do people say things like that?”

The research helped as I found out a St. Bernard weighs from one hundred-forty to two-hundred and sixty-four pounds.  His height is twenty-seven and a half to thirty-five and a half inches.  He eats six to eight cups of food a day.  I didn’t see that as eating us out of house and home.  He sheds a lot.  I could knit a sweater from his hair.  He drools a lot.  But nothing about him came as a deterrent.

I still see a St. Bernard as my dream dog.  Perhaps all dog lovers have a dream dog.  Most owners may well have fulfilled their desire for a dream dog.  I’m still waiting to fulfill mine.  I have not given up on getting my own St. Bernard.

The Markdown

A grocery truck pulled up in front of a super market.  The driver jumped out of the truck and began unloading boxes and bags of different food.  He threw down all items on the same skid.  His route included a weekly visit to this store.  He did his job quickly.  After unloading, he would then pull the skid by his hand jack to an area where store employees would then sort and stock their shelves.  In his haste, he tore open a large bag of dog food.  He was unaware of it, but it was noticed by another.  Instantly there came a yell.                            

“Ouch!” was the cry that came from under the torn bag.  “Be careful, Buddy!  You’re spilling all over me!”

“I’m sorry,” replied the torn bag.  “I have no way of controlling my contents.”

The first bag yelled to the other bags that came off the truck.

“Hey guys, we’ve got another torn bag.”

“If he’s torn, keep him on your side.”  There came laughter from all.

“It’s not my fault I got damaged,” said Buddy.  “I am a high priced bag of dog food.  Can’t I still be sold?”

“Yes and no,” replied the first bag.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Well, I’m the bag you landed on.  I’ll explain it to you.  My name is Earl and your name is?”

“I’m Buddy!” He replied.  “You had the name right the first time.”

“We all have started out as a new bag of dog food.”  Earl continued, “Because you are torn, you will be sold for less.  Undamaged, we will be sold to customers for full price.”

“That doesn’t sound fair.”  In a loud voice Buddy insisted, “I think I am still worth as much as you!”

“In a good sturdy package, freshness stays in.  Your bag is torn releasing freshness.  Besides, any customer isn’t going to want to pay the same price for a torn bag.”

“The way you talk, I will be lucky to be sold at all.”

“No, not so.  You will be sold.  Some customers will see you as a bargain.”           

“I may be damaged, but I’m still in good shape,” Insisted Buddy.  “I bet I get sold before any of you.  I bet I am some dog’s meal by the end of the day while the rest of you are still sitting on the store shelf.”

Buddy was not off from his prediction.  He was placed in a cart of markdown items.  He was picked up quickly by one of the first customers entering the store.  As he passed by all the other bags of dog food on the pet aisle, he spoke where only they could hear.

“My bag may have been damaged and taped.  But inside I’m as good as I ever was.”

Buddy found himself laughing all the way to the checkout line.  He knew some dog would be eating a fine feast tonight.